Rainy Season
by Wolfspirit44
Summary: She can't stop the tears from falling. And neither can he.
1. Broken

**A/N: So, I'm still pretty upset about my coach, but I'm pushing through it. I actually feel better writing, so this is helping a ton. Some happy words of encouragement may help too.**

**I got into college. COUGHCOUGHfeelingprettyaccomplishedCOUGHCOUGh. Now I just have to wait for four other colleges to respond before I decide. The pressure is on guys. Gahh!**

**Hopefully, this'll be a short fic, and not a freaking novel. Just a sad/angsty/hopefully happy story about Jerza. Again.**

**This is set after Jellal's arrest and the Tenroujima arc, to clear things up for you.**

**Tell me whatcha think!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One: Broken<strong>

I'm not one for crying. And yet, here I am, sitting alone in the corner of the room, my head between my knees, arms hugging my legs, silent tears running down my face.

I've been this way ever since I found out Jellal was killed in prison.

That was two years ago.

Everyday, in the morning before I go to the guild, I allow myself a couple hours to sob to myself, grieving his untimely death. In the night, I cry myself to sleep. I still can't believe he's really gone.

I mean, I always knew that there was a chance he'd face execution in prison, but I always held on to that slight sliver of hope. It was a lifeline connecting me to him, the only thing that kept me going.

But he's gone now, and my heart is shattered.

Today, especially, is hard. It's the two year anniversary of his death. Two years since I was reunited with him after the Nirvana incident.

Two years ago, I didn't get to tell him that I loved him. Now, I never will.

I sighed, feeling my chest tighten. Get a grip, Erza, I scolded myself. You're stronger than this.

Was I?

In my entire life, the only thing that really kept me going was him. Sure, I had Fairy Tail and all of my friends supporting me, but it was his life, his love, his light that kept me going. Even though he never said he loved me, it showed in his actions.

I heard a light knock on my door, followed by an, "Erza?"

Lucy.

I raised my head, wiping the tears spilling down my cheeks, but more kept coming.

"Y-Yes?" I stammered out shakily, cursing myself for my sign of weakness.

"You ok in there?" Lucy asked through the door.

I nodded, then remembered that she couldn't see me. I straightened my shoulders and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, just feeling a bit off right now. I think i ate some bad cake last night."

"Oh," her voice echoed, sounding slightly concerned. "Want me to come in? Can I get you anything?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "I'll be fine. I think I'm just going to sleep it off. Tell Mira that I won't be in today, ok?"

She hesitated, then quickly mumbled, "Sure thing, Erza. I'll stop by later on today to see how you're feeling. Should I bring you anything?"

Yeah, I thought bitterly. Bring Jellal back to me. Alive and healthy.

"No," I forced myself to say. "I'll be fine. I'll see you later, Lucy."

"Alright."

Her footsteps faded, and i allowed the tears and cries that I was holding back to come forth once more, drowning me in a wave. I leaned up against the wall and rested my head against the smooth wood, my hair creating a scarlet curtain around my face.

I could still remember his death announcement like it was yesterday.

"_Breaking news," the cheerful news anchor said on the lacrima screen, her face immaculate, her hair neat and tidy, her makeup pristine. I almost wanted to point out to Lucy at how fake she looked, but I held my tongue._

"_Jellal Fernandes, former Wizard Saint and member of the Magic Council, was put to death earlier this morning at six a.m. Gran Doma, leader of the Magic Council, says that the traitor deserved his sentencing and received his punishment justfully."_

_I froze. Jellal was... dead? A just death? Was I hearing this correctly._

_All eyes turned to me, and a cold silence suddenly filled the hall. I saw Gray and Lucy reach out tentatively for me, while Natsu, for once, stood froze, his mouth agape._

_Makarov looked at me with concern in his dark eyes, his arms crossed seriously over his tiny chest. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then quickly closed it._

_I turned and walked to the exit, my head roaring. I vaguely heard Lucy say my name and turn to follow me, but Gray grabbed her arm and held her back. "Let her go" I heard him whisper. "Let's give her some space."_

_I reached the doors of the guild, and turned to look at my guildmates. They all stared back at me, eyes wide, mouths closed. I've never heard silence quite so loud. _

_I couldn't take it._

_I turned and raced out the guild, a lamenting wail slipping past my lips. The first of my many tears began to fall, and I didn't try to brush them away. There was no point._

_I'm not sure where I was running to, all I knew was that I had to get out of there. To get away from everything._

_My mind was filled with memories of Jellal, the good ones. Him and I during the Nirvana incident, holding his hand for the first time in years. _

_When he protected me from Midnight._

_When he tried to sacrifice himself for me._

_He's a good man, my mind screamed. He didn't mean to get possessed. Why him? Why not me?_

_I ended up in the Kardia Cathedral._

_I slipped in through the massive twin doors and collapsed in the nearest pews, tears soaking the fabric of my skirt. I looked at my hands, trying to remember the feel of his hands in my own._

"_No," I whispered. "No! He can't be gone! He can't"_

My tears dripped down my face. I sighed, and stood, going into my little bathroom. Gray and the others had found me in the cathedral after dark, passed out from exhaustion. I had cried myself to sleep.

Which is what I have done every single night since I heard the news.

I reached for the sink and turned on the hot water, cupping it in my hands and splashing my face. I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of something else other than tears hitting my cheeks.

I turned off the water and dried my face. I looked into the mirror, just as my tears began to fall. I stared glumly at my reflection as the tears ran down my cheeks. My eyes were red and puffy from crying, and my nose looked like Rudolph's from blowing it too much.

"Hell, Erza, you look like hell," I whispered, running a hand through my messy red locks. I was still in my pajamas- a sports bra and boy shorts, and from the look of it, I had lost weight.

I looked at my hands. Not too long ago, these hands could summon powerful swords and wreak havoc on their enemies. I looked at my body, which had not too long ago had been powerful enough to tear through enemies and summon the mightiest of armors.

What had I become?

An empty shell, grieving over someone who had died two years ago.

How can you love someone who is no longer here?

I ask this question to myself everyday, and everyday, I have no answer. When it comes to love, I have no clue.

All I know is, the man I love is gone, and I never had the chance to tell him. I don't know what I regret more, not telling him how I feel, or not even trying to save him.

I am a coward.

People told me that there was nothing I could do. He wasn't allowed any visitors, and his trials were private. There was no trying to change Gran Doma's mind.

"Damnit!" I hissed, pounding my fist into my mirror. I should've just busted into the Magic Council's headquarters and demanded Jellal be released. I'm Erza Scarlet, Titania of Fairy Tail. Surely that must count for something.

I looked at my hands. One of my many tears leaked out and fell onto my right hand, glistening in the light, looking like a diamond. As I watched, it slid off my skin and fell onto the counter, bursting into a million tiny droplets.

Broken, I mused. Broken like my heart.

Broken like me.

* * *

><p>His eyes were closed, but that didn't block out the pain in his heart.<p>

The pain of losing the love of his life.

How he had cried when he was told that she was killed in the Tenroujima accident. How he had cried when they didn't find her body. How he had cried.

The physical torture he went through was nothing compared to the pain of his broken heart. He could endure the many beatings, food and water deprivations, interrogations, and torture techniques the Magic Council put him through.

But living with the guilt of never being able to tell Erza he loved her, that he couldn't survive.

He should've been there for her.

Maybe if he had just broken out of prison, he could've made it in time. At least, if he couldn't save her, he could die with her in his arms, one final time.

He'd do anything to see her smile one more time. To see her warm brown eyes sparkling with excitement, her red hair shining in the sun. How he loved her hair.

He sagged against his chains. They were the only thing keeping him upright, suspending his arms above his head. If not for them, he would've sagged in a pile over a year ago, when he first found out she died.

"_Erza Scarlet is dead," Gran Doma said coldly. "So if you were holding back any information for her sake, you can tell me now, because she's gone. So spill it."_

_She's dead? Jellal thought blankly, his body going numb. My Erza is dead?_

_He almost couldn't believe it, denied it even. How could she, the one and only Titania, the most powerful female mage in Fiore, be dead?_

_But as Gran Doma spoke, the more the news sunk in. The attack of Tenroujima by Grimoire Heart, The fall of the Tenrou tree, the appearance of Acnologia, the disappearances of Fairy Tail after the dragon's devastating attack. It all hit home._

The tears dripped down his cheeks, and he shook his head, messing up his long blue locks that were dirty with grime, sweat and blood. He could feel the split in his lip, as well as the large lump on his forehead.

He wanted to die. If it meant seeing her again, then by all means, why not? If he got to see her again, it would ease the pain eating away at his broken heart.

He'd be able to tell her he loved her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Just a heads up, in this case, Erza and the others never actually were "killed" in the incident at Tenrou. My imagination took control and went wild. You'll see why. I'll clear up any confusion for you in the upcoming chapters.**

**I'm thinking about updating A Twist of Fate tomorrow, and The Demon War on Wednesday or Thursday. Either way, I will update!**

**That new manga chapter. Can some please tell me how to respond to that? Like, should I cry in happiness, cheer for everyone, yell in anger from the cliffhanger, or what? I am so torn right now, I just- gahh! Honestly, I really don't know how to react. There were just waaaay too many feels for this poor fangirl to handle. Let me just melt into a puddle on the floor.**

**Ok, that's it for my little ramble. I think I've said enough.**

**See ya soon!**

**-Wolf**


	2. Sorrow

**A/N: I've been so unproductive these days it's not even funny. Life just loves to mess with me. Finals, the holiday season, homework, everything is out for me. So my updating is going to be very erratic from here on out, but hopefully with Winter Break almost here, I'll be able to catch up with...life.**

**Thanks for reviewing, favoriting and following!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Sorrow<strong>

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say (much to say)_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do, oh._

_-Rascal Flatts, What Hurts the Most_

Lucy sat at the bar, mindlessly twirling her keys in her fingers. She sighed, looking at Loke's key, sparkling in the midday sun. Next to it hung Aquarius's, glinting and shining.

"Lucy?" A deep voice asked her, concerned and curious. She turned, and looked up into the deep blue eyes of Gray. He sat down next to her and ordered a beer.

"Hey, Gray," she said tiredly, twirling her keys again.

"You ok?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She looked at him. "Erza's crying today."

His eyes darkened, realization flooding into his narrowed blue orbs. Kinana came over with Gray's beer, set it down with a smile, and walked away.

Gray took a deep draught of his drink. "Two years," he muttered after swallowing. "Two long years."

Lucy rested her elbows on the table, setting her keys down. "I still don't understand why they executed him."

"Well, apart from the fact that he almost destroyed the world and the Magic Council-"

"He was possessed!" Lucy exclaimed angrily. "Anyone in their right mind could see that!"

Gray sighed. "I know. I think Gran Doma held a grudge against Jellal, and that's why he executed him."

"A grudge for what? Showing the Magic Council how incompetent they were in the first place?" Lucy asked bitterly, clenching her teeth.

Gray nodded. "You know Gran Doma. The proudest of the proud. He doesn't take humiliation lightly."

"But that doesn't justify killing him," Lucy argued.

Gray shrugged. "I don't know."

"Then how do we even know he's dead?"

Gray looked at her. "You saw the news, Lucy. He-"

"We never saw his body," she defended. "He didn't have a public trial or execution. Even though he was a "criminal," he deserved rights. And I'm sure he was asking for Erza. The least the Magic Council should've done was let her see him."

"How do you know he-"

"Anyone could see it, Gray," she said quietly. "He loved her."

Gray took another gulp of his beer. "I know. And I don't know what to say."

Lucy sat there silently for a minute, her mind lost in thought. She looked at Gray, who was staring at her intently.

"I'm going to see how Erza's holding up," she said finally, making up her mind.

Gray grabbed her hand, preventing her from leaving. "Hold up," he said, looking at to her steadily. "Do you really think that'll be a good idea?"

She looked at him, a hard glint in her eyes. "She's mourning," she said, making a fist. "As a friend, I want to be there for her. It's the least I can do."

He looked at her. After a minute, he finally spoke up. "I'll find Natsu," he said. "We'll be right behind you."

Lucy grinned. "Alright. Let's go to her."

* * *

><p>All you have to do is tell us what you know about Zeref, and we'll let you go. Just tell us, Jellal," Gran Doma hissed, slamming his hands down on the arms of the chair where I sat.<p>

I looked up blearily at him, blood pulsing out the corner of my mouth.

"I've already told you everything I know," I whispered, coughing a little. "What else do you want from me?"

Gran Doma turned to the two guards standing inside the cell. "Would you excuse us?" He asked them through gritted teeth. They nodded wordlessly and opened the heavy wooden door, stepping through and disappearing into the dark hallway.

"Tell me something," Gran Doma said to me once they had left. He looked at me through narrowed eyes, a snarl on his face. "How did a mage like you manage to destroy the Magic Council and acquire enough magic to create the Tower of Heaven?"

"I already told you," I whispered blearily, looking blankly into his loathing eyes. "I was possessed by Zeref and my will was bent by Ultear, who was also under Zeref's influence."

A sudden harsh blow landed on my cheek, forcing my head to snap sideways. I winced and choked, spitting out a globule of blood as my cheek throbbed. The impact made my already split lip tear open even more, and blood dripped down my cheek.

"I don't belive that conpletely," Gran Doma hissed.

I blinked in confusion. Why was this man being so unreasonable? I didn't understand.

Gran Doma stood up abruptly. "This is your punishment for destroying the Magic Council. I won't let a man who humiliated us to just pass along into the afterlife without facing the consequences first."

I looked at him through my lashes. "I don't see the point in this," I whispered, blood dripping down my chin. "You got all confessions and information out of me."

"I like seeing the pain on your face. You're still mourning her, aren't you?"

I froze, knowing who Gran Doma was talking about. A wave of scarlet passed in front of my eyes, and suddenly, I was seeing her.

Erza, with a smile on her face, holding my hand when we were kids.

Erza giving me a hug in the Tower.

Erza, pinning me down at the Tower of Heaven, her katana aimed at my throat.

I cried out again suddenly as Gran Doma grabbed me around the throat, smashing the back of my head into the headboard of the chair. My body had gone through so much physical abuse these past few years, you'd think I be used to it by now.

But the pain, this physical pain, I actually looked forward to. It kept my mind off of other things.

Kept my mind off of her.

Gran Doma glared at me. "You filthy, disgusting low life," he hissed, baring his teeth. "I should run you through with a thousand knives, pluck your eyes out and feed them to the crows, break every bone in your body-"

"Please," I rasped. I looked at him, feeling more tears form in my eyes. "Just let me die."

Gran Doma's eyes glittered evilly. "But that's the thing, Jellal," he said, releasing my throat and stepping back. "You have to pay for what you did. And I'm not sending you to join your lover until you've paid your price. Be prepared to wait a long time."

I felt my tears drip down my cheeks. Weakly, I looked up at him, one more time. "Please," I begged quietly.

He snarled, and flew at me. The last thing I saw was his giant fist flying towards my eyes, before a wash of pain flooded over me and I was drowned in a sea of scarlet.

* * *

><p>Erza sat on the balcony of her apartment, her legs swinging against the metal railing. She sighed, looking down at the ground below, a mere twenty feet. A fall from this height wouldn't so much as bruise Titania, queen of the fairies.<p>

She wished it would.

Anything would be better than the torturous pain she felt in her heart. She kept seeing fleeting images of Jellal run through her mind, filling her thoughts with his warm smile and gentle green eyes.

She looked down at her hands, which were clenched on her short clad thighs. She gripped her skin tightly, and hissed when she felt her nails dig into the skin.

Physical pain was such a relief compared to what she was feeling on the inside.

She looked up at the sky, watching the fluffy white clouds move lazily across the azure sky.

Blue like his hair.

She felt tears come to her eyes, but she dashed them away. "No," she whispered. "Stop crying. For two minutes, just stop crying."

She thought that if she could order other people around, why not herself? She could order herself to stop crying, and she'd listen, right?

That wasn't the case.

The tears dropped onto her legs, and Erza couldn't help but let the sob she'd been stifling to slip past her lips. She wanted him, wanted him back. He didn't have to be with her, he didn't even have to love her anymore. She just wanted him to be alive, and know that he was safe.

There was a knock on her door, and Erza straightened, turning towards the sound. She raised a hand and quickly dried her tears on the sleeve of her shirt, dabbing at her eyes. She sniffled, and climbed off her railing, padding slowly across her complex to reach for the handle.

She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror next to the door, and frowned. Puffy, bloodshot eyes, runny nose, upturned lips. She looked like someone had shot her best friend.

Or killed the love of her life, that is.

She sighed, running a hand through her messy red hair in a futile attempt to straighten it, then gave up, throwing it up in a messy bun, strands of hair falling down and framing her cheeks.

She opened the door, and was instantly met with Gray's frowning face looking upon her.

"Jesus," he said, stepping into her apartment and closing the door behind him. He frowned, taking in her unkempt appearance: black shorts, a blue, long sleeved shirt hanging messily off one shoulder, hair up in a sloppy bun. He noted her bloodshot eyes and the tears pooling in her deep brown orbs, as well as the wet patches on her sleeves- no doubt from wiping away her tears.

"Oh, Erza," he murmured, pulling her into his arms. Her eyes widened slightly when he pulled her close, but she closed her eyes and clutched onto the fabric of his shirt- he was actually wearing one- and took a deep breath.

He smells like winter- if winter even has a smell. Kinda cold, mountain streams, a bit sprucy. The perfect smell for an ice mage.

"Hey," he whispered softly, rubbing her back. "It's gonna be ok. We're here for you."

She nodded quietly into his shirt, her silent tears soaking into the soft fabric.

"Lucy and Natsu are coming over in a few minutes," Gray continued, staring absentmindedly at the wall. "Lucy wanted to get you some hot cocoa, and Natsu- for once, that flaming bastard- is actually gonna pick us up some strawberry cake, mostly for you."

"Wow," Erza said quietly. "That is something new." She couldn't help the small smile that came to her face.

Gray smiled. "There it is," he murmured, brushing her hair out of her face. "That's the smile I know. There's my Erza."

She frowned. "Excuse me?"

He grinned and cupped her cheek. "You haven't smiled like that in a long time. It's good to see that again."

Erza thought about Jellal. The news of his untimely death had really hurt her, in a way, it killed a part of her. A part of her died when she found out, and the remaining shell that was left was almost like a corpse- lifeless and emotionless.

She looked up at Gray and snuggled into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. "You're right," she murmured. "It's nice."

But it didn't quell the pain in her heart. She doubted it ever would.

* * *

><p>Erza sat in her little bedroom, writing furiously on a piece of paper by the light of a candle. Hot tears poured down her face.<p>

She looked up from her paper and stared out the window, taking in the pale moonlight washing into the room. It was late now, and Lucy and the others had finally gone home after staying with the red head for most of the day.

"_It'll be ok, Erza," Gray said, holding onto her hand while stepping out the door to join Lucy and Natsu, who were in the middle of a heated arguement. "Trust me. We're here for you."_

"_I know," Erza whispered. "And thank you."_

_Gray shrugged, a smile lighting up his angular face. "Hey," he said, letting go of her hand. "Smile for me."_

Erza felt the faintest of smiles come to her lips, but it faded as soon as she looked down at her paper and saw what was written.

_Dear Jellal_

She sighed, and tiredly wiped her eyes. "Oh Jellal, even though you're gone, why does it hurt so much?" she whispered.

_Dear Jellal,_

_I wish I could say everything thing is going well. I know that you're gone, but for some reason, I can't seem to accept that, or even believe it. I still hold on to that hope I had, when I believed you would be set free._

_I miss you Jellal, and I wish I could tell you in person. I miss seeing you smile, seeing your beautiful eyes. I miss your voice, and I miss not being able to hold your hand._

_Gray comforts me as much as he can, but he's not you. No one will ever fill this space in my heart. _

_I love you Jellal. I should've told you this when you walked away from me that night, the night we destroyed Nirvana and you walked right to your fate. If I had know this was going to happen, I would've never let you go._

_I hope you'll wait for me, a little bit longer. I want to see you again, I truly do. But I have to stay here, and protect my family. Fairy Tail needs me. I hope you don't mind waiting for me._

_-Erza_

She had been writing these letters to him ever since his death. She never sent them, but they almost provided a sense of closure.

She reached over to the side of her desk and grabbed an envelope, folding the sheet of paper and sliding it in. She sealed it and turned it over, writing a quick and sloppy "Jellal" on the front before opening a drawer and slipping it in, adding it to the pile already inside. She sighed, looking at the pile of envelopes before closing the drawer and blowing out her candle.

She slipped into bed, discarding her clothes and pulling up the fluffy comforter. She settled against the pillows and looked out her window, a melancholy feeling settling upon her. She closed her eyes, and her sparkling tears slid down her face, dropping onto the coverlet.

The tears that slid out came from her artificial eye this time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm getting a kick out of writing angst and sadness. It's a nice change from the happy/action that I usually write. **

**Song credits: Rascal Flatts-_What Hurts the Most_**

**So I know this changes POVs, from first to third, and if you guys don't like that, I'll change it. I was aiming for each chapter to have one section in either Jellal or Erza's first person POV, but if you don't like that, I'll fix it. Tell me what you think!**

**See ya soon!**

**-Wolf**


	3. Strength

**A/N: this chapter is dedicated to AmnaK96. Sorry it's a tad late. Hope you all enjoy!**

**thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorated and followed!**

**Also, Merry Christmas to you all!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter three: Strength<strong>

"You are hereby invited to the Magic Council Gala this coming weekend to celebrate the anniversary of the new council's rise to power," Mira said, frowning as she read the letter. Next to her sat Makarov, his eyes closed and his mouth set into a firm line.

"Rise to power, huh?" He grumbled, scratching his mustache. "Makes it sound like they took over the damn country. Rise to power, my ass."

Mira slapped him on the arm. "Oh, hush, you," she said good naturedly. She looked down at the letter. "Oh? There's more."

Makarov looked at her. "Is there now. Please, do tell." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. Makarov didn't like the new magic council, for one reason, and one reason only.

They killed Jellal, which made Erza cry.

Erza was the daughter he never had. Sure, the entire Fairy Tail guild was his children, and Laxus was his actual flesh and blood, but Erza held a special place in Makarov's heart.

She was a true leader and a brave warrior. She had gone through so much as a young girl, and she had pushed past all that to become the seasoned mage that she is.

Makarov rarely saw her cry, that is, until that dreaded day when her world shattered around her.

_"Breaking news," the cheerful news anchor said on the lacrima screen. Makarov looked at her face, so done up with makeup that she looked like a doll._

_"Jellal Fernandes, former Wizard Saint and member of the Magic Council, was put to death earlier this morning at six a.m. Gran Doma, leader of the Magic Council, says that the traitor deserved his sentencing and received his punishment justfully."_

_Makarov froze, almost choking on his coffee. Jellal was... dead? A just death? How could it be a just death if he didn't have a public trial? A criminal charged with capital punishment had to go before the guild masters before the punishment could be dealt out. What the hell? Makarov thought. _

_His next thought was of Erza. A cold silence filled the hall, and his eyes fell on the redhead, as did everyone else's. Makarov saw Gray, Natsu, and Lucy reach out to her, as if to comfort her._

_She herself was standing rigid, her eyes wide, arms hanging limply by her sides. Her mouth was open slightly, and her chest was heaving rapidly._

_Makarov looked at her with concern in his dark eyes, his arms crossed. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then quickly closed it._

_He watched as she turned and walked to the exit. Lucy called out to the redhead and made as if to follow her, but Gray grabbed her arm and held her back. "Let her go" he said to the blonde. "Let's give her some space."_

Makarov watched as she reached the doors of the guild. She turned to look at her guildmates, and they all stared back.

"Makarov? Makarov! Master!" Mira's voice cut in, and Makarov blinked, coming back to the present.

"Yes Mira?" He said, looking at her and blinking a few times. She glared at him.

"As I was saying before you drifted off, the letter say to bring two mages along with you as backup and security in case "danger is imminent." They ask for your two strongest, preferably."

Makarov sighed. "Like we guild masters aren't capable to handle ourselves in case some idiot tries to do something. What do they think we are? Old people in need of assistance?"

"They got the "old" part right," Mira muttered. Makarov shot her a withering glare, but didn't say anything.

"My two most powerful mages, huh?" He mumbled. He looked around the guild hall, his eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated.

"Well, that would probably be between Erza, Laxus, and Gildarts. The latter two, however, are off on jobs, and I don't feel like bringing either Natsu or Gray, lest I want to burn the Magic Council down. That leaves you, Cana, or Gajeel."

Mira shook her head. "Gajeel is taking a mission with Levy today. They left about an hour ago. And do you really want to bring Cana?" She pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

Makarov shuddered. "Right," he agreed. "Don't want her sucking the Magic Council's supply dry. So I'll bring you and Erza. That is-"

He broke off suddenly, lost in thought. Erza was in a bit of a rut these past few years. Would bringing her to the place where the love of her life was killed be a good idea?

"This'll be good for her, Master," Mira cut in, reading his thoughts. She frowned. "I know that that's where he died, but it'll provide her with some closure if she comes along."

Makarov looked at her. "You sure?" He asked.

Mira nodded. "Positive."

He turned and looked out the guild hall, his eyes roaming the room. He could not find the familiar red head of the famous Titania.

"She's not here," he grumbled. "That means-"

"She's home," Mira finished for him. She laid a hand on his small shoulder. "Don't worry, Master. I'll go to her later on today."

Makarov nodded absentmindedly. "Dear god, Erza," he murmured to himself. "I hope you can push through this."

* * *

><p>I poured myself another cup of coffee, sighing as the delicious smell dispersed around the room. With a faint smile, I walked to my fridge and pulled out the milk.<p>

There was a sudden knock on the door, making me freeze and look up suspiciously. Who could it be? Gray, checking in again, like he usually did?

I ran a hand through my red hair, making sure it wasn't messy, before striding to the door. Today was one of my better days: my hair was brushed, my eyes weren't puffy and bloodshot, and I was decently dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a shirt.

I opened the door, expecting to see Gray, or Natsu, or Lucy. So it came as a surprise when I opened the door to not them, but Mirajane Strauss.

"Hey there," she said good naturedly, stepping inside and brushing past me. I blinked, my mouth open, and closed the door.

"Mira," I began, turning around to see her making herself comfortable on my couch. "What are you doing here?"

She folded her hands neatly in her lap. "I can't come to say hello?" She asked me, putting a pout to her lips.

I put my hands on my hips. "Since when did you ever come to say hello?" I scoffed. Then I narrowed my eyes. "Is this about me not coming to the guild? Did Gray say anything to you? Well I'm fine. See, no tears. You don't have to worry about me too." I felt some of my old spirit returning, just for a minute. "There's nothing wrong-"

"There's a gala this weekend at the Magic Council headquarters," Mira interrupted, looking at me calmly despite my rant. "Makarov is taking you and me to be his bodyguards and companions."

I heard "Magic Council" and "headquarters" and my mind froze. My mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"I know, I know," Mira said, raising her hands apologetically. "But listen to me first. Makarov was asked to bring his two strongest mages with him, and right now, that's you and me. This Gala is going to have all the masters of the guilds together in one place. If something does go wrong, you and I will have to defend Makarov. Also, I think," she paused, looking at me curiously before continuing, as if to gauge my reaction. "This will give you some closure if you go. Maybe you could talk to Gran Doma himself."

I laughed, a cold laughter that scared me. It sounded empty and chilling, like a skeleton was laughing. "Really Mira," I said in between chuckles. "Do you really think it'll be a good idea for me to talk to the man that sentenced Jellal to his death?"

She shrugged. "My definition of "talk" can be taken very loosly," she said, leaning forward and resting her head on her hands. "It doesn't just have to be talk."

"Mira," I said, striding forward. I stopped and plopped down next to her on the couch. "I can't just attack the man who killed Jellal. He's the freaking leader of the Magic Council. He'll have me arrested."

She looked around before slipping a vial out of the sleeve of her dress. She handed it to me, and I looked at it in confusion. "What-" I began.

"I had Lisanna stop by Porlyuscia's before I came over," Mira explained, tapping the vial with her finger. "This is a memory potion. Once you've "talked" with Gran Doma, you pour this in his mouth and poof! Memories vanish."

I eyed her. "Why are you doing this, Mira?" I asked.

She smiled faintly and took my hand in hers, squeezing. "Jellal did not deserve to die," she whispered gently. "I know you loved him, Erza. He deserved to have a fair trial, and he should've been able to see you. All of us in Fairy Tail know how much you've suffered, and we want to help. We also want to know why Gran Doma sentenced him to death, but we know he won't answer unless we get our hands dirty."

I smiled. "So this weekend…"

"Makarov and I are going to figure out a way to get Gran Doma alone with you. You can do whatever, interrogate him however you want, just as long as you get your questions answered," Mira said. "Like I said, maybe this visit will provide some closure for you."

I felt tears form in my eyes. I wasn't sure if they were happy that my questions would be answered, or sad that I'd be going to the place where Jellal was killed.

"Wow," I said. "Makarov is going along with this, huh?"

Mira reached into her skirts and pulled out a handkerchief. She handed it to me, and I took it gratefully, dabbing at my eyes. "Makarov was the one who suggested you talk with Gran Doma. The rule in Fairy Tail is that we are family, and no one hurts our family. If they do, we have to get back at them for hurting one of us."

She stood up, smiling at me. "We're gonna leave tomorrow," she said, running a hand through her white locks. "See ya later, Scarlet."

I smiled, getting up and seeing her to the door. Before she left, she reached over and pulled me into a tight hug, squeezing my shoulders tightly. "It'll be ok, Erza," she murmured. "I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thanks Mira," I whispered back. She pulled away from me, and smiled.

"Keep your head up, like the proud Titania I know," she said, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "And smile. He would've wanted you to be happy, not sad." As Mira was saying this, my eyes widened. She smiled at me, knowing full well I knew who she was talking about.

"How do you know that?" I whispered.

She chuckled. "Simple. He loved you, Erza."

I lowered my gaze. "But-"

"Anyone could see it," she interrupted. "He loved you with every fiber of his being. I don't think there's anyone on this earth that loved more than that man did."

A tear fell down my cheek. "Thank you, Mira," I whispered, smiling slightly. She smiled and nodded, squeezing my hand before stepping out the door.

I closed the door, leaning heavily on the wood. I could feel the tears falling down my face, and I watched as they fell to land on the floor at my feet.

There was a lightness in my heart, and I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips as I thought of him. "Oh Jellal," I murmured. "You always had a way of making me smile. Thank you for that."

I love you too. And I'll be strong for the both of us until I see you again.

* * *

><p>"Fifteen."<p>

"Euagh!" Jellal couldn't help but let the heated cry fly from his lips. He arched his back and gripped onto the tall wooden post in front of him, his nails digging into the wood. His chains rattled as he struggled to breathe, and hot liquid poured down his bare back. The pain stung and overwhelmed his senses.

He turned and looked over his shoulder, sweat dripping down his face, and he glared up at his tormentor.

Gran Doma sneered and held up the whip in his hand. The tip was reinforced with metal, which was now red with blood. Jellal could feel the lacerations running up and down his back.

"Stop this," Jellal croaked out, feeling his lips split from the dryness. His back screamed in pain as he shifted, sending more hot liquid to race down his skin. In his current position, with his arms chained to the post and kneeling on the cold cement floor, he felt vulnerable and exposed.

He looked down, noticing for the first time that he was kneeling in a puddle of blood. My blood, he realized with with a sickened feeling, and resisted the urge to throw up.

"Beautiful," Gran Doma hissed, a maniacal grin spreading across his face. There was a diabolical look in his dark eyes, the look of a madman. Jellal shuddered.

"You're crazy," he rasped. "I confessed, and told you everything. Kill me now!"

"Sixteen!" Gran Doma suddenly yelled, bringing his hand down and slashing the whip across Jellal's wounded back with a brutal force.

Jellal howled in pain, tears dripping from his eyes. "Gahh!" He gasped, crying out in pain as his back throbbed. "Gran Doma, stop!" He rasped, his arms sagging.

"More," Gran Doma murmured, the grin on his face becoming sinister. "More, more, I need more!"

"Seventeen!"

"Augh!"

"Eighteen!"

"Please," Jellal begged, his head resting against the wooden post as Gran Doma continued to flog him. "No more, please."

"More," Gran Doma murmured, a foam forming on the corners of his mouth. He brought his hand up, the whip a sinuous snake winding around. Jellal looked from the corner of his eye at Gran Doma, his eyes widening as he took in the Magic Council's leader.

"Your mad," Jellal murmured, his eyes wide with disbelief.

The whip fell, and Jellal screamed in pain, his senses overwhelmed in agony. His eyes closed, and he succumbed to the darkness.

* * *

><p>"Get him back in his cell," Jellal heard someone say, and his eyes opened a crack. He was sagged against the wooden pole, his cheek pressed against the wood. His hands, which were still chained up against the pole sagged in his shackles, and he realized they were the only things holding him upright.<p>

In his half delirious state, he barely felt it when two men came over and unchained him, but he did feel it when they brushed against his back. It felt like burning hot fire irons were being dragged across his back, setting him on fire. A groan slipped past his lips.

"Shut up," one of the guards said, looping Jellal's arm around his neck. The other guard did the same, and together, they hoisted the bluenette up and began to drag him out of the torture chamber.

Jellal opened his eyes, just managing to catch a glimpse of Gran Doma standing off to the side, a smile on his face as he played with the blood soaked whip he had used on Jellal. Then the guards dragged him out of the room, and Jellal lost sight of the Magic Council leader.

His head sagged and his feet dragged on the floor as the guards took him back to his cell. Once they reached it, he was dumped on the floor. The pain in his back exploded, and he let the whimper fly past his lips, the tears fall from his eyes.

"What a child," one guard said, scoffing as he took in the limp bluenette lying on the ground. However, he couldn't help but flinch as he took in the mutilated flesh of Jellal's back.

"We'll send a maid to treat his back," the other guard siad, eyeing Jellal distastefully. "We can't have him die on us, Gran Doma would have a fit."

"That's for sure. I wonder, why does he want to keep this criminal alive, anyway? Wouldn't it be easier on us all if we just killed him already?" The first one asked.

The other one shrugged. "Who knows. Maybe Gran Doma has a personal issue with this guy. All I know is that it's an pleasure bringing this one to his knees."

They both laughed, and exited Jellal's cell, the barred door closing heavily behind them. Their footsteps echoed down the hall before fading into silence.

Jellal took in a deep, shuddering breath. The pain in his back eased momentarily, but it was the type of pain that came in waves.

More tears trickled from his eyes. "Erza," he mumbled hoarsely. "I can't do this."

_Yes you can._ He could imagine her saying this, standing before him with eyes narrowed in determination, mouth set in a firm line that meant what she said was final. He could see her standing before him, red hair flying around her face, wearing her shining armor and brandishing her sword.

_Do this for us._ He could practically hear her rich voice whispering words in his hear, compelling him to not give up.

"But why, Erza?" He mumbled, his eyes closing so he could savor the image of her. "I could be with you if I just gave up."

_Living shows that you are strong. Live Jellal, live for me. Do it for us!_

His eyes shot open, and a determined light filled his green eyes. His mouth tightened into a straight line, and he clenched his fists.

"Ok, Erza." His voice faltered slightly as another wave of pain washed over him, but he accepted it with welcome arms.

"I'll live for the two of us."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: R&R, please? Thanks for all the amazing comments so far, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy! I plan on updating a lot more, since it's winter break, so keep in touch!**

**-Wolf**


	4. Departure

**A/N: This was sort of a hard chapter to write. It's kinda boring, I will give it that, but it's all set up for the oncoming chapter. I've already drafted it up, and it is pretty intense.**

**thanks to everyone who has followed, reviewed, and favorite, as well as _have the patience to deal with my erratic and infrequent updates. _It's very hard to balance three ongoing stories, come up with ideas for new ones, and have time for my actual life, all at the same time. I thank you all for being very understanding reader, instead of jumping down my throat for not updating as fast as I used to**

**Enough of my ramble. I talk too much**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter four: Departure<strong>

"So what you're telling me is this: Mira came over and told you that you'd be accompanying her and Makarov to the Magic Council gala this weekend, which is approximately two days from now, and you're going to "talk" to Gran Doma about Jellal, where in this case "talk" means rough him up until he spills the beans, and when he does, you knock him out with a memory serum that Mira sent Lisanna to Porlyuscia for. Am I right?"

Erza looked at Lucy with grudging respect. "Wow. You said that all in one breath and you're not even gasping. Kudos to you."

Lucy waved the redhead off. "I could talk for days," the blonde said. "And that's not even the point, Erza."

Erz turned and opened her closet, stepping inside. "The point of me bringing you over here Lucy was not to talk about my plans, but to decide what to wear to this stupid gala."

"What's with you," Lucy mumbled, ducking when an article of clothing shot out of the closet to land on Erza's messy bed, which was already strewn with clothes.

The redhead turned to look at the blonde. "What do you mean?" she asked, holding two dresses in her hand.

Lucy shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. You seem more energetic, as if-"

"As if I'm about to question the man who killed my friend?" Erza finished for Lucy, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Then yes, Lucy, I am energetic. I want to know the reason why Gran Doma sentenced Jellal to death, and why he wasn't given a public trial, and why I wasn't allowed to see him. Don't you think that's fair?"

Lucy shuddered. "It's not that I think it's fair, which, of course, it is, but-"

"But what?"

"Just don't kill the man, Erza Scarlet!" Lucy exploded. "He's the freaking leader of the Magic Council, and when you get angry, you tend to get a bit, oh, how to phrase it? _Destructive!_"

Erza looked pleased. "Really? Maybe I should be angry more often-"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Lucy screeched. "The guild is bad enough as it is, with all of Gray and Natsu's bickering. Do you want Fairy Tail to be kicked out of Magnolia?"

Erza chuckled. "I'm just joking, Lucy. Lighten up, will ya?"

Lucy scoffed. "I hate you, Scarlet."

Erza threw a few more dresses to the side, and smiled lightly at Lucy. "Of course you do. Right back atcha, Lucy."

She stepped out of her closet and frowned, looking at the one dress she hand in her hand. It was royal blue, with a sweetheart neckline and a band of lighter blue fabric around the waist. It was a high-to-low design, and made out of chiffon.

"It's stunning," Lucy mumbled. "Are you going to wear it?"

"Not sure if I should. It reminds me too much of _him_."

Erza frowned. The deep blue of the dress reminded her starkly of Jellal, and his cerulean blue hair. The same hair that first attracted her to him so long ago, at the Tower of Heaven.

"That's the reason why you should wear it," Lucy said. "Wear it for him, for his memory. Use it as a weapon against Gran Doma. When you "talk" to him, it'll be a harsh reminder of the man he killed."

Erza felt her respect for the blonde rising. "Where the hell did you get this violent idea from?"

"I've been hanging out with you, Gray, and Natsu for too long. You guys have rubbed off on me."

Erza laughed. "I guess I should apologize?"

"Absolutely not."

The two girls shared a quick laugh, embracing each other. "Thanks, Lucy, for cheering me up," Erza whispered against the blonde's hair.

Lucy chuckled. "No problem. That's why I'm here. Now let's get you packed and ready to go, shall we?"

"We shall."

* * *

><p>They let me out of my chains, only to replace them with the magic binding shackles I was forced to wear in the Tower of Heaven. I was free to walk around, without any chains following me, but I couldn't use magic.<p>

I don't know why they didn't use them on me from the beginning. Maybe they wanted me to use magic, so they could punish me further. Or rather, Gran Doma would.

My back itched, and I resisted the urge to scratch it. After Gran Doma tortured me and the guards dragged me back to my cell, a female mage came and healed my back so it wouldn't become infected and Gran Doma could further torture me.

I stared blankly at the walls of my prison, my mind miles away. I recalled the events of the Tower of Heaven. I remembered hugging Erza and placing the binding snake on her body, then trying to shove her into the lacrima to sacrifice her.

I was an idiot back then, I thought to myself. I can't believe how weak I was, getting possessed like I did.

I remembered the Nirvana situation, when I lost my memories and Erza was all I had. After everything I did to her, killing Simon, hurting her friends, almost killing her, she should've stabbed me through the heart and ended it all. She should've killed me.

But she didn't. She took my hand and got me on my feet again. I can still see the smile in her eyes.

I can still feel the pain from Midnight's attack as I protected her. But as long as it protected her, my pain didn't matter.

My only regret was surrendering myself to the Rune Knights, after we had destroyed Nirvana. At the time, it had been a good time, but now, I realized what a mistake it had been.

And not because I don't want to be tortured anymore. If I had resisted the Rune Knights and fled into hiding, I could have been there for her at Tenroujima. I didn't have the power to protect her and Fairy Tail against Acnologia, but at least I could be with her again, one more time, before we died.

Shut up, I told myself. Stop worrying over the past. You have to live for her, like you promised.

But still, a part of my mind cried. Why live is she's gone?

Because that's what she would have wanted.

I clenched my fist and sighed. Yes, I'd live, and I'd live for her. But I'll never stop regretting on what could have been.

* * *

><p>"You're an idiot!"<p>

"And you're a moron!"

"A moron is an idiot, idiot!" Gray snarled, slamming his fist into the side of Natsu's face. The pigheaded dragonslayer only laughed and counterattacked, his leg shooting out to trip the ice make mage, making Gray crash to the ground.

"Look who's the idiot now, moron!" Natsu gloated, dancing around while Gray rubbed his head and glared up at Natsu.

"Why you," Gray began, making a fist and slamming it against his open palm. "Ice make-"

"Enough!" A harsh voice interrupted Gray and Natsu's brawl. The ice make mage looked up and caught a glimpse of red before he felt a hand grab his hair. He was able to say, "Shit," before that hand smashed him into the hard head of a certain pink haired pyromaniac.

He collapsed to the ground, a throbbing ache in his head. "Jesus, Erza, what the hell?" he gasped, looking up into the burning brown eyes of the requip mage. Her hair was framing her face and tumbling down her shoulders, a rich, vibrant shade of scarlet. Her lips were pursed in a scowl, and her brown eyes glittered in anger. Under that, Gray noticed, he saw a glimmer of amusement in her eyes, a light that he hadn't seen in a while. Like she was, almost happy. Back to her normal self.

"You two," she seethed, and Gray gulped. This was Titania, the fierce and mighty Erza Scarlet. This was not the woman he had held in his arms a few days ago, the woman who had cried until she could not cry any more.

"You two are insufferable!" She snarled, her hands on her hips. Beside him, Natsu had the decency to look sheepish, rubbing the back of his head and smiling awkwardly.

"What are you doing here?" Gray asked, rising to his feet. He wobbled a bit, since being wacked around by Titania was no light matter. His head would be sore for weeks to come.

She gestured behind her, where several suitcases stood at attention, like uniform lines of soldiers waiting for command.

"Ah," Gray said, putting two and two together. "The gala. You guys are leaving, right?"

"Gala?" Natsu interrupted, hopping to his feet. "What gala?"

Erza shot him a look, and the rosette immediately shut his mouth.

She nodded over to the bar, where Mira and Makarov stood, talking quietly together while a smiling Kinana poured another glass of beer for the master. They looked over when Erza pointed them out, and Mira waved good naturedly. Makarov sighed and grabbed the glass of beer, chugging it down his throat so quickly that even Cana would have been impressed.

Erza turned back to Gray and Natsu. "Master wants a few words with everyone before we go," she said. There was a bright gleam in her eye, and that kindled the sparks of curiosity within him.

She's up to something, he thought darkly. She seems too upbeat, too positive, considering the fact that she's meeting with the people that killed Jellal. Gray looked at her carefully, noting how she kept grasping the hilt of her Heart Kreuz sword, noting the way she flexed her fists like she wanted to wring someone's neck, and the tense way she held herself, like she was planning something. Something that would not have the greatest reaction if anyone found out.

Gray opened his mouth and reached out, aiming to grab her wrist to get her attention, when Makarov hopped onto the bar. The white haired man cleared his throat loudly before yelling the only way Makarov could, "Listen up you brats!"

Erza turned, her attention fixed on master. Gray stepped up next to her, keeping one eye on her and the other turned on to Makarov.

"As you may know, there is a gala for the Magic Council's survival of their first year," Makarov said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "And I, for one, am not proud of the fact that we didn't make their kill list this year!"

There were several chuckles from around the room, along with a raucous "Stupid wassholes, We'll swow them...nwext wear!" from a drunken Cana.

Makarov smiled, then coughed before continuing. "I am taking Mira and Erza along with me as companions and guardians of my... welfare." The last few words he grumbled, anger written on his face. He muttered something, and Gray's ears strained, trying to pick up what the old man was saying. He managed to make out "not that old," and "weak my ass," before Makarov continued his speech.

"We will be gone for the weekend, and will return as soon as it is over. For now, Kinana and Macao are in charge until I return. Got that?"

There were several muttered agreements, and then Makarov concluded the meeting. He jumped down from the bar and headed over to Mira. Natsu jumped up and down angrily and ran over to the old man, no doubt protesting about why he wasn't the one going. From the other side of the room, Lucy looked on, biting her lip with concern in her gaze. Beside her stood Juvia, with a dreamy look on her face as she stared dotingly at Gray. He shuddered and looked elsewhere.

Erza turned to him, a glint of a threat in her eyes. "If I hear that you and Natsu burnt down another town while I'm gone," she began.

Gray raised his hands in surrender. "We will never see the light of day," he finished for her. "Got it."

Her eyes narrowed. "Good boy."

"Erza-" he began, then broke off, his throat suddenly dry. He had to tread cautiously, otherwise he'd be shopping for headstones earlier than he wanted. If he said the wrong thing, that headstone would say, "His mouth was loose, just like his head."

She frowned. "Speak Gray," she said. "It's not like you to hold your tongue."

He gulped, trying to moisten his dry mouth. "What-" he broke off, wiped his hands nervously, and then tried again, trying to ignore the way Erza stared at him like he was prey, one hand on her sword, the other resting on her hip, and her foot tapping on the floorboards of the guild.

"What are you planning?" Gray tried again, thankful that his voice didn't waver, but stay strong.

She eyed him. "Tread carefully, Gray," she said, a hint of a threat in her voice. "Watch your words."

"You shouldn't be acting this way," he hissed back, his confidence rising. "These are the people who killed Jellal. They killed your friends, so I can't understand why your acting so goddamn excited-"

"Mind your own business," she snapped back at him, her eyes furious.

He sighed, calming himself down. "Erza," he tried again, trying to soothe the furious scarlet mage. "You don't have to act strong for this. I know you. It's ok to let your walls down, and it's ok to have emotions. You don't always have to keep them locked up, you know."

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I shouldn't have snapped at you," she murmured. "I'm sorry, Gray, I know you're just trying to help, but I'm okay, I swear."

He frowned. He knew very well that she was not "okay," but he had the feeling that if he pushed the subject any further, he'd be forfeiting his life.

She turned when Makarov called her name. "We can talk later, okay?" she threw over her shoulder.

"Sure," he grumbled, his eyes narrowed. He folded his arms across his chest, watching her go.

She walked over to Mira and Makarov, grabbing her suitcases as she went. She shared a few brief comments with them, nodded farewell to Lucy, who was holding back a seething Natsu, before striding out the door, her two companions in toe. Only when the doors shut did Gray make his move.

He turned, finding the one person on his mind. The spike of black hair on the top of his head and the long, thick lips, helped Gray out.

"Warren," he said, resting an elbow on the table where the mage sat. "I need some...assistance."

The man looked at him, eyes narrowed with interest, and took a gulp of his beer. "Oh really," the telepathic mage said. "What can I help you with?"

Gray smiled. "I need you to do me a favor..."

* * *

><p>Erza felt the breeze on her face, and looked up into the sky. It was covered in thick, pearly clouds, fluffy and white, like cotton candy.<p>

"You ready?" Mira asked her, putting a hand on the redhead's shoulder. In front of them stood a magic vehicle that would take the three of them to the train station. Makarov was already seated inside, staring out the window opposite of the female mages.

"I'm ready," Erza said. She pictured Jellal's handsome face in her mind, warm and smiling. She pictured Gran Doma's face in her mind, as well as ran through the question she intended on asking.

Mira turned. "Well then, come on. We don't want to miss our train!"

Erza felt the prick of sadness well up in her heart. It truly did hurt, going to the people who killed her beloved Jellal, but she needed to do this. For her, for him, for them.

A tear trickled down her face, and she wiped it away. "No more," she whispered firmly. "I'm done crying. It's time to do something, and not drown in misery.

"I'm going to get my answers, no matter what."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Speaking of plans, what are you up to, Gray?**

**Someday, life will stop kicking me in the ass. Someday, life might actually let me get a restful night's sleep.**

**haha yeah right, in my dreams.**

**see ya soon! Thanks for reading!**

**-Wolf**

**P.S. leave a few words for me, tell me whatcha think. And idk, maybe someone would like to beta for me? That might actually help me send chapters out sooner rather than later. PM me to let me know if you're interested, or know someone who'd help**


	5. Musings

****A/N: I didn't edit this, so please, pardon the errors in this. If you do see any (which I'm sure there are) PM me to let me know and I'll make the changes.****

****thanks for everyone who kept up with this story. It's actually halfway done, and I'm pretty pleased with the turnout so far.****

****I meant this chapter to really pick up steam, like I said in the last chapter, but things changed, so I'm pushing the crazy stuff to the next chapter. Sorry to those who were anticipating something more active rather than passive.****

****I talk too much. I'm done now. Please, read on and enjoy.****

****And as always, thanks to all who reviewed, favorited, and followed. Arigato gozaimasu, minna-san!****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter five: Musings<strong>

"Tell me you're joking," Lucy said, looking at Gray as if he had grown an extra set of eyes. "This is suicide."

Gray looked at her with a hurt and offended air. "Have a little faith," he said, putting a hand to his chest dramatically. "You wound me with your words, Lucy."

She glared at him. "Your acting skills suck," she informed him, putting a hand on her hip and raising an eyebrow. "And if you go through with this, your survival skills will also suck."

"What about Gray's survival skills?" a voice suddenly drawled, and Gray turned to see none other than his rival, Natsu, sauntering over. The pinkette sidled over to Lucy.

Lucy glared at Gray. "Honestly," she said. "I thought you had more sense than this one-" she pointed to Natsu and earned herself an indignant "hey!" in return "-over here. What the hell, Gray Fullbuster?"

He glared back at her, somehow losing his shirt in the process. "I take that as offensive," he grumbled.

She shook her head. "Take it however damn well you want it, but it's the truth! And for Mavis' sake, put some clothes on!" She screeched the last sentence, and Natsu winced, his sensitive dragonslayer ears not responding to Lucy's high pitched, and not to mention, loud, statement, well.

"Juvia doesn't mind if Gray-sama takes his clothes off," a feminine voice suddenly said, and Gray gulped. The blue haired water mage stepped into view, her eyes practically popping out of her head. Gray swore he saw a string of drool hanging out of the corner of her mouth, but dismissed it out of kindness for her. However, as soon as her hands came around his stomach, all thoughts of kindness went flying out the window.

"Just as long as Gray-sama only strips for Juvia, and not her love rival!" the bluenette said, turning a baleful eye on Lucy, who rolled her eyes. Gray himself gagged, and resisted the urge to send Juvia flying.

"Will Gray-sama strip for Juvia for the rest of her life?" the bluenette whispered. Gray jumped away from her, his eyes wide and his mouth working robotically as he tried not to whip up a good old ice hammer to clock her over the head.

"Absolutely not!" he shrieked, running away with the blue haired mage following close behind. He needed to get as far away from her as possible.

"We'll talk later!" Gray screamed over his shoulder at Lucy and Natsu, who were both trying very hard to conceal their laughs, but failing miserably. Gray had to give them credit for trying at least.

Gray looked back to see Juvia on his heels. "God damnit," he hissed, opening the door to the guild and booking it down the road. "I'd rather fight Zeref than deal with this shit."

* * *

><p>He tried to figure out the last time he had eaten. From the way his stomach protested weakly and the lack of muscle in his limbs, he'd say a week and a half. His mouth was so dry, and his throat was parched. He longed for water, longed for anything to sate his thirst.<p>

He knew that this was torture in itself. The whipping, the beatings, those he could bear. But this hunger and thirst- it was a whole new level of pain.

It was the type of mental pain- the constant thoughts of food or water filling his head. His body sent messages to his brain for nutrition, for which he could not receive. He wanted a piece of bread to quell the rumble in his stomach.

But he would not beg. Jellal was many things: a traitor, a murderer, a liar, and a hopeless romantic, but a beggar he was not. He would not grovel at the feet of his jailer.

"Gran Doma will not see you this weekend," a man suddenly said, and Jellal looked up wearily. A guard stood before his jail cell, glaring down with anger in his eyes at the bluenette. "He has other important matters to attend. So he's decided to send you a present."

Jellal narrowed his eyes as the guard stepped in, whistling evilly. "What do you mean?" he asked, but the guard didn't respond, but simply yanked Jellal to his feet. Jellal felt his feet give out and he sagged, but the guard simply hefted Jellal over his shoulders and proceeded to haul Jellal down the hall.

He was taken to the glass cells he had seen his first time in the Magic Council, the type of cells that drained any magic users of their magic. He often wondered why he wasn't placed in one of those cells, but it seemed frivolous now.

As he looked around, he noticed that the cells were all empty, and the room itself was devoid of any people besides one other, who was too far away to make out clearly. He wondered why it was so empty, but he dismissed the thought instantly.

He was thrown into one of the cells, landing with a hard thud against the far wall. He didn't cry out, but only winced as his sore back hit the hard glass. He heard the guard laugh, but the sound seemed distorted and quiet.

"He's all yours," the guard said, and Jellal blinked, meeting the eyes of Nadal, one of the frog guards that the magic council employed. Nadal grinned maliciously upon seeing Jellal inside the cell, and leaned up against the glass wall.

"I've been waiting for this for a long time, Siegrain. Or should I say, Jellal Fernandes?"

Jellal didn't say anything, but stared stonily ahead. He sighed, stretching out his legs and placing his hands on the glass floor, palms down.

"You hungry?" Nadal continued, waving his staff around imperiously. "Does the lowly little prisoner need his food?"

Jellal opened his mouth. One word slipped from between his dry lips. Her name.

"Erza," he whispered.

Nadal frowned. "hey, hey," he drawled. "Shut up and answer me, won't ya? It's very rude, ignoring your superiors."

Jellal closed his eyes. Her name was upon his lips, and he pictured her sunny face, with her deep red locks cascading down her back. He could see her warm brown eyes shining with warmth.

"Why you-" Nadal's voice suddenly said, and Jellal's eyes opened in time for the Magic staff to enter the cell. The bluenette braced himself, preparing for the inevitable smack of the staff against his head, but found himself facing something else, so thing much more painful.

Nadal sent an electric shock resonating throughout the cell, which attacked Jellal's nerves. The pain of the shocks was so intense; Jellal arched his back and let out an aching cry. He scratched at his chest, trying to rid the pain, but it wouldn't fade.

Again and again Nadal tortured Jellal, until the bluenette finally collapsed, his body smoking. His skin was beginning to turn a pale shade of pink, and on some parts of his lower back, a deep and angry red, from where the shocks hit the most.

"That'll teach you," Nadal hissed menacingly. He leaned forward, so his face became large and distorted. Jellal blinked wearily up at the frog and winced as his body throbbed from the electrified treatment.

"Well?" the guard from previous affairs had returned, and was looking down at Jellal with an interested gleam in his dark eyes. "Did you have fun?"

"The bastard deserves a long and slow torture before he dies," Nadal said, standing up and turning to the guard.

The guard smiled. "Oh don't worry, Gran Doma has it all planned out. This man will receive every form of torture known to man before he meets death, that I can promise."

But why? Jellal thought wearily as the guard reached through the glass wall. He felt a hand grab his arm and yank him forward, but he hardly paid attention.

He landed on the cold stone floor, barely recognizing the sharp stings of pain as his legs hit the stone. Immediately, his body sagged, and the soldier yanked him upright.

"Gotta get this one back to his cell," the guard informed Nadal. "Before the others come back from their break time."

Nadal nodded. "It was smart of Gran Doma to make sure all the prisoners were out in the yard before bringing him in," he said. "Not everyone knows of his existence."

Jellal suddenly knew why the room was so empty. So his punishment could be carried out in secret.

The guard nodded, turning around. "And that's how it's going to stay," he shot over his shoulder. "Just until Gran Doma decides to terminate him"

On the way back to his original holding cell, Jellal felt a sense of foreboding building up within him. Something wasn't right with Gran Doma.

Jellal barely knew the man, he had maybe brushed past him in the halls of the magic council during his Siegrain days, but that was all. But from what he knew, Gran Doma had seemed like a decent old man, wizened and aged, but smart and considerate.

He didn't think Gran Doma was one to actually encourage torture, even _enjoy _it.

He was tossed back into his cell, and he didn't even cry out when he hit the cold floor. The guard sneered in disgust down at him, but again, Jellal ignored the insult.

Sure, maybe Gran Doma hadn't approved of Fairy Tail, and sure, he wasn't keen on them trying to protect him after the Nirvana incident, and he definitely had been on bad terms with Erza after it, but the man wasn't an irrational person. He was logical, and smart, and knew how to look at a situation from both sides. This was the reason why he became the head of the Magic Council.

But the man Jellal knew now, this new Gran Doma, was not rational. He was insane, and Jellal was certain for sure, something was wrong.

* * *

><p>We reached the Magic Council Headquarters in less than four hours. By train, it took about three hours, and then another hour by magic vehicle. Master slept the entire time.<p>

Mira and I made casual conversation, but nothing too indepth. The entire journey was mostly spent in a comfortable silence, with the occasional interruption by one of Master's famous snores.

The entire time, I tried to keep my mind off of Jellal. It didn't work, and about a half hour into the trip, the thought, Why am I doing this? floated into my mind.

Yes, why was I doing this? I know I had said that this would be closure, blah, blah, blah, but still, there was a part of me that doubted this entire scheme. What if something goes wrong, and the potion doesn't work? What if I don't get satisfactory answers?

And then, I thought, Will I see his grave?

Immediately, I had to stand up. Mira looked over, giving me a questionable look, and I gave her some weak excuse about needing the bathroom. I scrambled for the door to our train car and literally threw myself out of it, just barely managing to stop myself from careening into an elderly couple.

With a mumbled apology, I ran down the corridor, tripping every time the train took a turn, until I found myself at the end of our car. Without any hesitation, I threw open the door, stepping out onto the little platform.

The wind howled around me, tearing at my navy blue skirt, whistling through the holes in my armor, and ruffling my hair. I breathed in the cool air, feeling tears pooling in my eyes. I didn't try and brush them away, but let them roll down my cheeks. The wind brisked the shining droplets away almost instantly, and dried the tear tracks on my cheeks.

I sighed. Out of all the things I had meant to ask Gran Doma, the question about Jellal's burial hadn't come to mind. It was the catalyst, the one thing that would really reveal that his death was real.

Now I wasn't sure I had the strength to hear about it.

I bent down, fighting the wind, and rested my elbows on the small metal railing that protected me from falling. I rested my head in my hands, feeling my hair fly out behind me. I shivered, feeling the cool wind kiss my bare legs and caress my bare arms.

"For the love of Mavis, what the hell are you doing out here, Erza Scarlet?" Mira's voice came ringing in my ears, and I raised my head. Mira stepped out onto the little platform, rubbing her bare arms as her white hair whipped around her face. Her blue eyes were narrowed with concern, and she pursed her lips.

"Mira," I croaked. I shook my head. "Not sure I can do this now."

Her eyes narrowed. "What's wrong?"

I looked at her. "Mira, what about his grave? Does he even have one? Did he even get buried? What should I do if there isn't one?"

Mira frowned, then wrapped her arms around me. "If Gran Doma didn't give him a burial," she informed me, squeezing my shoulders. "Then you come find me, and I will have a little "chat" with him myself."

I chuckled weakly. "Mira-"

"I don't want to see you hurting, Erza," she said. "And I don't think Jellal would have liked seeing you cry over him either."

"It hurts," I whispered. "I didn't want it to be like this."

She smiled. "I know," she murmured. "But we do what we can. We push on, Erza. This pain isn't for long. Time keeps going by. You'll be surprised at how fast it moves."

"I wish I could have told him," I began. I cleared my throat. "I wish I could have told him what he means to me."

"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead. There is a bridge that connects these two lands, and the bridge is love," Mira said, tugging at my arm. "He knew you loved him, just like you know he loved you. And he will always love you. He lives on in your memory."

She pulled me off the railing. "Come on," she said, opening the door to the railcar. "Let's get inside before I freeze my arms off."

"_There is a land of the living and a land of the dead. There is a bridge that connects these two lands, and the bridge is love." _I kept repeating this sentence over and over in my head as I stepped out of the magic vehicle. I looked up at the giant castle before me, with the Magic Council's flag flapping on the highest turret.

I felt sick, but I kept my head held high. Beside me, Mira gave me a tiny nod of encouragement, then turned to try and rouse Makarov, who had dozed off once again.

I let a young bellhop take my bags. His eyes widened at my massive amount of trunks, and I left him standing there in awe. Maybe once he got over his initial surprise, he'd smarten up and call another boy to help him out.

I entered the main foyer of the castle, immediately regretting that I hadn't worn anything fancy, like a nice dress or something. Everyone I saw was dressed in very expensive looking clothes.

Mira stepped in toe next to me.

"Mavis," she whispered, looking at the giant glass chandelier that hung over head. "Fancy." Her eyes were practically popping out of her head.

I rolled my eyes and looked around, trying to see if I could spot anyone from any guilds. I didn't see anyone from any particular guilds, but I did see the one person that's been on my mind, other than Jellal.

He was standing off to the side, his eyes lost in thought. I shuddered, noticing the crazed gleam in his once sane looking eyes. He was mumbling under his breath, and his hands were trembling.

I narrowed my eyes. "That's strange," I mused, looking at the old man that I had come to despise for so long. "Why does Gran Doma look so unhinged?"

"Non compos mentis," She whispered under her breath.

_Not of sound mind._

* * *

><p>Lucy bit her lip as she stared at Gray, who was in an intense conversation with Warren. Their topic was a heated one, judging from the flailing arms and the strings of profanity that followed suit.<p>

"Whatcha looking at, Luce?" At the sound of Natsu's voice, Lucy turned, meeting the concerned gaze of the pinkette. Happy was nowhere in sight, and neither were Pantherlily or Carla, so Lucy assumed that the feline trio were off on some Exceed-centered business.

"I need to speak to Gray about something," she mumbled, turning her gaze back to the ravenette, who was now speaking quietly to a glazed over Warren. At this, Lucy narrowed her eyes.

She knew that look. It was the type of look that Warren got whenever he used his telepathy.

She stormed over, dragging a surprised Natsu with her. As she got closer to the other two mages, she was able to make out Gray's final few words: "Thanks Laxus. I'll keep you updated."

She stopped before Gray and frowned, looking at him. "Why were you talking to Laxus?" she asked, her eyes sliding over to Warren, who was looking everywhere but her.

His eyes narrowed. "I need him for my plan," he said simply.

Lucy's eyes narrowed, and her mind slid back to earlier.

"_I think Erza's going to try something at the gala tomorrow," Gray told her. "I want to go and see if I can help."_

"_What are you talking about, Gray?" Lucy asked. She frowned, looking at the ice make mage, and wondered how much he had drunk._

"_I'm serious, Lucy," he said, narrowing his eyes. He leaned closer to her. "Listen to me," he said seriously. "She hasn't been herself for the past two years, and then bam! There's a gala being thrown for the very people who tore Jellal away from her, and suddenly she's all happy-go-lucky, excited and suddenly very active. She's planning something, and I want to support her the entire time."_

_Lucy looked at Gray, not sure how to react. "Go on," she said hesitantly._

"_I talked to Warren," Gray continued. "He's going to link me to Laxus and Gajeel. They're going to help me. I want to infiltrate the Magic Council and find out what Erza's planning. You in?"_

"_Tell me you're joking," Lucy said, looking at Gray as if he had grown an extra set of eyes. "This is suicide."_

As she looked at him now, however, she had a change of heart. Erza shouldn't have to go through this alone, and hell, Lucy wanted to give Gran Doma her own for hurting her dear friend.

Fairy Tail was family, and no one hurt family. It was Fairy Tail's way. If any of their own was hurting, it was up to the other guild members to make sure that they never hurt again.

Lucy was done with seeing Erza cry. She was fed up with it, so she was ready to throw her lot in with Gray's plan, even if it did sound suicidal.

She looked at Gray. His eyes were narrowed and searching her own, as if trying to see what she was thinking.

"Gray," she said, in a tone so serious sounding that even Natsu quit his antics to stop and listen.

He leaned forward, an interested gleam in his dark blue eyes. "I'm listening," he said slowly.

She took a deep breath.

"I know what Erza's planning, and I want to help."


End file.
